I've been painting in the afternoons.
It's been my time to listen to my music. To play with the colors I want. It's been my time to refill and reflect and to just be.
I'm convinced that God grants us talents not just to be shared or for us to feel better about ourselves. I'm convinced God has given each of us specific talents as a way to understand Him and His eternal principles.
The other day I'm painting; struggling to tap into my right brain where creativity lives and thrives. I can't seem to get the color I want. Every color I come up with doesn't belong. It isn't right. Then I realize I'm working too purely. I need to dirty my color so it can recede and let the other colors appear more vivid. So I mix my pure yellows and oranges with blue and let the color get muddy and rich. I slide my brush through the earthiness and place a single brushstroke. It works and my subject reads beautifully.
I'm looking at this color I've created. By itself it's yucky. As a whole the color is purposeful and lovely. In fact, it's my favorite part of the piece.
Then I catch the lesson. I get the familiar overwhelming rush of warmth that lets me know what I'm feeling is true and important. Every experience here on this earth is necessary for my overall growth. Not just the happy times. Every time I struggle. Every time it seems things are yucky and I can't seem to make heads or tails of it. It's simply a part of the whole. It's that swipe of dirty color that makes the overall picture beautiful and meaningful.
Now when I look at that swipe; that simple brushstroke that recedes into the background I will think of the empathy I've developed. The kindness. The humility. Slowly I learn the peace that comes from understanding this principle. To accept the bad with the good. That trials have their place in my development.
Mostly I learn to enjoy all the colors that I create.